“Anywhere my ex saw me, he would beat me. He beat me so much, I became an alcoholic — but I stayed because I was ashamed people would say I couldn’t keep a man.”
In a deeply emotional interview with Chude Jideonwo, veteran Nollywood actress Ayo Adesanya has opened up for the first time about surviving a decade-long abusive relationship that nearly broke her spirit — and her career.
Adesanya revealed that the physical and emotional torment she endured in the relationship led her into alcoholism — a coping mechanism for the pain she had no words for at the time.
"I became an alcoholic. But I couldn’t leave because of the shame. People would say, ‘You can’t keep a man.’"
According to her, the abuse was cyclical — violence followed by apologies — and sustained by fear, shame, and societal expectations placed on women.
“The guy beats you now, and the next minute, he’s begging. So it was something I endured for 10 good years.”
She explained how her abuser would sabotage her career by telling producers and directors she wasn’t available for jobs, isolating her from opportunities and networks.
“He would tell people who called me for work that I wasn’t available. It was like I was trapped.”
Ayo also recalled the night she finally left — quietly, like a thief in the night — at midnight, after years of hiding her pain and protecting the image of a relationship that was eating her alive.
“The night I left, it was like magic. Around 12am. This is the first time I’m talking about it. But I have to.”
She admits she entered the relationship young and naive, swept up by love and the illusion of emotional safety, only to find herself in a situation where leaving felt harder than staying.
Now, years later, she's speaking out — not just for herself, but for the countless women silently enduring similar pain.
“There was physical violence. There was nagging — emotional abuse. There was a lot. I just stayed... because I didn’t want people to judge me.”
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